Guest Post and Cover Reveal: ‘And Then There Was You’ by Suzy Turner…

And Then There Was You SMALL

And Then There Was You SMALL

And Then There Was You

Three years ago, Eve Brooke had the most passionate, memorable night of her life. Unfortunately, it was with a man who wasn’t her husband.

Can infidelity be forgotten? Not when her one night stand moves in next door, it can’t.

Eve has a pretty good life. She’s married to Matt, her childhood sweetheart, has an interesting career and lives in a nice house in the suburbs. If life is so perfect why did Eve sleep with a complete stranger during a trip to London? And why, three years later did he have to move in next door with his beautiful wife? As the attraction between them flares up again, Eve begins to question her marriage and wonders if it is fate or coincidence that has brought them back together…

Available exclusively at Amazon

 

About the author

Although Suzy is a Yorkshire lass at heart, she left her home town of Rotherham, UK, to move to Portugal with her family when she was ten. The Algarve continues to be her home, where she lives with her childhood sweetheart, Michael, two neurotic dogs and a cat who thinks she’s a princess.
Shortly after completing her studies, Suzy was offered the position of trainee journalist for a local English newspaper. Her love of writing developed and a few years later she moved on to become assistant editor for the region’s largest English language publisher. Since then she has also worked as the editor of one of the Algarve’s most loved monthly lifestyle magazines. Early in 2010 however, Suzy began working as a full time author. She has since written several books: Raven, December Moon, The Lost Soul (The Raven Saga), Daisy Madigan’s Paradise, The Ghost of Josiah Grimshaw, The Temporal Stone, Looking for Lucy Jo (The Morgan Sisters), Forever Fredless and And Then There Was You.

Suzy August 2014 small

You can connect with the lovely Suzy here:

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You’re invited to the Naughty Ninjas Christmas Party! Loads of prizes to be won!

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The Naughty Ninjas, featuring the talents of:

Rhyll Biest a.k.a The Lady

Georgina Penney a.k.a Glitterpants

Lily Malone a.k.a Beanie Queen

Cate Ellink a.k.a The Maneater

Sandra Antonelli  a.k.a Cookieface

Roslyn Groves  a.k.a Grasshopper Groves

Andra Ashe,  a.k.a  Madam Ashe

and,

Moi a.k.a Sizzling Yoga Pants

Are celebrating Christmas early, in a very naughty way full of inappropriate humour, megladons and tentacles. So, if you’re in the mood for a laugh and to WIN HEAPS OF PRIZES then come on over to the Naughty Ninja Christmas party here from 7.30pm (Sydney time) Tuesday Nov 25th to 8.30pm Wednesday Nov 26th.

 

New Release from Ros Baxter, ‘The Seek’…

the seek

From the talented and versatile Ros Baxter comes the first full-length novel in her sexy, engaging, groundbreaking SF Romance series.

When everything else is gone, all you have is hope.

The year is 2098, and the people of New Earth have been homeless for seventeen years. Ruled by a mysterious Council and adrift in a fleet of space stations, their sole mission is to survive long enough to find a new home. They call it The Seek.

Kyntura is the first and only female Avenger — one of the secret, separate elite who stand on the frontline between the refugees of Earth and a universe that would do them harm. For Kyn, fight and pain are the only things that drive out memories of the Apocalypse…and of the boy she left behind when she enlisted. But a young recruit called Mirren and a deadly mission will bring her face to face with all she has tried to forget.

As she leads a squad of Avengers in The Seek, Kyntura will have to face her demons — and the boy whose heart she broke a decade before — to confront the truth about New Earth and save the future of humanity.

the seek

The Seek goes live today from Ros Baxter.  A hot, sweet tale of love, courage and apocalypse. ‘One of the best and most original post-apocalyptic books.’ Check out the book trailer here:

 

Watch

 

Buy the book here 

Choose Your Cast, Rhyll Biest’s ‘Unrestrained’…

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Hi Rhyll, and congratulations on the release of ‘Unrestrained’. I love that cover, in fact, I could look at it all day!

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Blurb: When the reclusive Holly Unthanks finds some very naughty photos, both the star—a muscular Teutonic god with some serious ink and a knack for knots—and the way he’s tied his lady friend to his four-poster bed, make her more than a little curious. But to get to know the big, built stonemason better, she’ll have to overcome his vengeful ex and her own inhibitions—and pray that the walls she’s built around her guarded heart and dark secret remain safe from a man who has a way with stone.

Holly Unthanks

Holly likes to think she’s really tough, but while it’s true she’s covered in scars and knows nine ways to kick a man’s ass, she’s really a softie at heart who thinks she’s unworthy of love. Plus she has more baggage than an airport luggage carousel. She’s my little pit-bull-with-a-heart-of-gold character.

Who would you choose to play this character?

Claire Danes would be cool because she was so bad-ass in Homeland. I adore smart, tough, edgy and slightly snarky heroines.

Claire Danes

 Burkhart Stein

Stein, a German stone mason, is a fearsome looking man who seems straightforward until you delve a little deeper into his past and some of his choices. He has his own scars and other things in common with the heroine, Holly.

Who would you choose to play this character and why?

Okay, confession time. My inspiration for the Stein character was Till Lindemann from Rammstein because he’s got a voice that can give you gravel rash and is built like a tank. A delicious man-tank. So I would definitely pick Till to play Stein.

Luisa

Luisa is the villain of the story and plays her role of über-bitch with style and relish.

Who would you choose to play this character and why?

Salma Hayek has the same sort of dangerous curves as Luisa and a clever, determined look about her. Luisa is an über-bitch but she also has planetary-sized balls, so she doesn’t lack determination. I kind of admire her in a way…

salma hayek

Thanks Rhyll, I love a man-tank. Especially delicious man-tanks!

 

Unrestrained is available here.

If you’d like to connect with man-tank lovin’, Naughty Ninja Rhyll Biest, you’ll find her hanging out:

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How we should look in licence photos…

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My last driver’s licence photo was taken seven years ago when I was heavily pregnant with my third child. I wasn’t a the kind of woman who ‘glowed’ in pregnancy. I was the kind of woman who ‘puffed’ with pregnancy. Consequently, even though my large tummy was nowhere near the frame, everyone could tell that it was a photo of a woman whose tummy bounced off her thighs during uphill climbs.

So, when my renewal notice stated that a new photo was required – because they are now issuing new licences with whizz bang secure identity thingies embedded in them- I was happy because now was my chance to update the photo.

On the bad side,  I was approximately 20kg heavier in the last one than I am now. However, I was also 7 years younger, which created quite a dilemma. My new photo will reveal that I am now back to my normal size post baby, however, I have also developed wrinkles, tired skin and grey hairs at an alarming rate since having children.

This poses the question, which is better: rounded youth or slimmer maturity?

Anyway, I did as instructed by the RTA officer and did not smile when the photo was taken. There is even a sign that prohibits smiling during the photo taking process.

Consequently the photo on my new licence is hideous.

If it was more attractive it would be a mug shot.

On the good side, my grey hairs are well camouflaged amongst the blonde by the flash that had me walking into walls due to temporary blindness for five minutes afterwards.

On the bad side, my pupils are smaller than pinpricks and could lead any police officer viewing it to suspect that I am a long term, habitual crack head.

On the good side, there are no wrinkles on my face because my crow’s feet only come out to play during smile time.

On the negative side, I look like a career criminal who has just been charged with a crime that carries a life sentence of cleaning toilets with a toothbrush. My toothbrush.

My husband and I discussed my new photo and when I asked why no one is allowed to smile he said, ‘because the police want to be able to identify you when they pull you over, and make sure that the holder of that licence and the driver are the same person. How many times have you smiled at a cop who has pulled you over?’

It was a good theory. Certainly one worth investigating, which lead me to consider what types of facial expressions would allow the licencee to be identified quickly, depending on the situation.

The ‘was that a ‘Stop’ sign or just ‘Give Way’? What’s the speed limit around here’ expression.

aa confused

 

The ‘in no way did I break the law’ expression:

aa bill clinton

 

The ‘Yes, I knew it was a 50 km zone and I was doing 55’ expression.

 aa barack

The ‘OMFG was that a speed camera I just flew past?’ expression.

 aa janet

The ‘No, Officer, I wasn’t texting while driving’ expression.

 

 aa emoticon

 

The ‘I’m really, really sorry Officer. I promise not to do it again,’ expression.

 aa golden

 

And finally, the ‘my bosoms are too big for this tiny top, and my lips are so big and red’ seduction expression.

 

 aa sexy

 

So, as you can see, the current licence photo protocol leaves a lot to be desired. It could be improved considerably by allowing people to have a range of facial expressions on their licence so as to accurately reflect that person’s expression at the time of committing an offence. What a pity they don’t have a suggestion box at the RTA.

Penazzling: the art of making your doo-daa pretty…

penazzling man tors

About a year ago I did a blog on Vajazzing- the art of making your hoo-haa pretty. Who would have thought that it would be consistently the most viewed post on my entire blog?

The Vajazzling post has received six times the views of its closest competitor, I Need it Hot and Sweaty Every week, without fail, it is the top performer.

Seeing as writing about genitals gets me far more views than anything else I’ve written, it’s time to explore the genital factor a little more.

So, to continue in the series of making or genitals more attractive, I thought it was about time to do a blog on the boy version – Penazzling.

penazzling man tors

Warning – This post contains censored photos of Penazzling –  a decorated penis.  If you are under the age of 18 or are offended by penises, please don’t continue reading…

Just like a lady getting a Brazillian waxing to kick off the beautification process – something that requires a higher tolerance to pain than child birth (and at least the doctors give you loads of drugs for birthing), the men too must undergo a complete waxing.

But it’s not called a Brazillian for men.  It’s called a BOYZILLIAN.

Here is the G-rated version of what’s involved in a Boyzillian.

penazzling - boyz

Just in case you didn’t quite get it from the above pictures, Boyzillians.com has described the process as a waxing of the Bikini line (although it should state ‘Mankini’), shaft, perineum, scrotum, groin, crack and buttocks.

Are you farking kidding me? My husband just about vomits and passes out when one our boys hits him in the nuts, so what kind of emergency medical aid has to be administered to the men who undertake the Boyzillian?

Are they just handed their broken and swollen testicles back when they leave the salon? Perhaps contained in a human organ esky so they can go to the local hospital and have them reattached?

The advantages of ripping your pubic hairs out by the root include:

  • A neater, cleaner undercarriage,
  • Making your penis look larger by clearing away the undergrowth (yeah, let’s go with that),
  • Is more attractive to women (yeah, if you say so)…

If that isn’t enough for you, your bald as a badger balls and penis can now be decorated.

You could go for the Disco look of 1978…

penazzling richard simmons

Thanks to Richard Simmons for acting as a censor. The sacrifice of throwing yourself in the way of a bejewelled penis for the sake of decorum is duly noted and appreciated.

 

Thanks Bare Beauty for this pic

 penazzling footprints

 

I’d have to wonder what kind of creature is living in this man’s groin if it leaves luminous green footprints in its wake…

The Italian Stallion…

 penazzling david

 

 

 

The one hung low, two hung high look…

 penazzling discoball

 

Of course, if Penazzling isn’t enough for you,  if you’re a little jaded with the skin tone of your dude, or discolouration / pigmentation  has got you down, then perhaps penis and scrotum bleaching  is for you.

Just as some women bleach the skin of their girly bits to keep them pink and fresh, men can also keep their bits…pink and fresh… Not only can you bleach them, but you can also dye them a particular hue.

If applying corrosive chemicals to your genitals doesn’t phase you- because remember, that’s what bleach is- then you may also want to dye your pubes. A nice iridescent pink or green- nature’s own colours- may be just what you’re after.

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We could go on to discuss piercings, but….I really don’t want to.

So, thanks boys for caring enough about the ascetics of your nethers to put yourself though all kinds of penal torture.

Choose Your Cast: Erotic Romance novelist, Cate Ellink…

DeepDiving_Final_small

Hello Cate, and thanks for participating in Sarah Belle’s ‘Choose your Cast’ blog bit! Your new release, ‘Deep Diving’ sounds very sexy!

Hi Sarah, thanks for having me visit!

Book Title: Deep Diving

Can you give us the blurb, please?

Two competitive athletes and a sex-filled holiday fling. No strings, right?

Samantha Caine, newly-retired Olympic triathlete, meets Cooper Sterling, high-profile rugby league player, on tropical paradise, Lord Howe Island when they’re paired as dive buddies.

Soon they become more than undersea partners and things get seriously sexy, but Sam’s disinclined to be another football groupie, and for Cooper it’s about more than good looks.

Is a holiday fling the finish line or can Sam and Cooper turn friendly competition into more than sizzling sex?

DeepDiving_Final_small

 

Character 1 – Name: Cooper Sterling

Tell us about this character: He’s the most incredible hero I’ve ever written. He’s fit, sexy, fun, a great sport, brilliant in bed, awesome to perv at. There’s nothing wrong with him at all.

Who would you choose to play this character? Not an actor, this character was inspired by an NRL footy player, Cooper Cronk.

I usually invent my characters from scratch but with this one, I was sitting at the footy watching him play and this story crept into my mind. Lots of people scour the internet for a photo of their hero/heroine before they start but that’s not for me! I’m never ever doing this again because I can’t separate him from the character now. I watch him play footy and I see him in my story, exactly as amazing as I made him to be! It’s not a good thing. From now on, it’s all my imagination, no dreaming of stories while looking at people!

Looking at this photo, Cate, I can see why he is drool worthy! I’m a bit of a fan of biceps- well chosen!

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Character 2 – Name: Samantha Caine

Tell us about this character: Sam’s an ex-triathlete, so she competes hard. Cooper gets away with nothing while Sam’s around. He might win, but she pushes him hard. She’s confident, attractive, and a few years older than Cooper.

Who would you choose to play this character and why? In my head I had someone who was a mix of Emma Snowsill (the triathlete) and Sally Fitzgibbons (the surfer). Really fit, great smile, blonde-brown hair, confident.

Snowsill

 

There are a few other characters but Cooper and Sam are the story and the only ones who I gave an image to in my mind. I’d be a useless casting director for a film!!

Looks to me like you’ve chosen very well! Thanks for coming on today, Cate. I will have fun visualising those biceps while reading ‘Deep Diving’!

About Cate:

Cate Ellink became intrigued by the erotic when her grandfather used to pass books to her father saying, “Don’t let the girls read page X.” Although her mother and sisters never bothered to chase those pages, Cate always did. Invariably, her imagination was better than what she read. While pursuing a career in science, Cate amused herself by writing about ordinary events and giving them an erotic twist. It’s taken more than a few years to bravely expose her mind to the public. While the events in her stories may have occurred, it’s highly likely that her imagination is far more exciting than the reality. Cate lives near the beach in NSW with her long-suffering husband.

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