New Release from Ros Baxter, ‘The Seek’…

the seek

From the talented and versatile Ros Baxter comes the first full-length novel in her sexy, engaging, groundbreaking SF Romance series.

When everything else is gone, all you have is hope.

The year is 2098, and the people of New Earth have been homeless for seventeen years. Ruled by a mysterious Council and adrift in a fleet of space stations, their sole mission is to survive long enough to find a new home. They call it The Seek.

Kyntura is the first and only female Avenger — one of the secret, separate elite who stand on the frontline between the refugees of Earth and a universe that would do them harm. For Kyn, fight and pain are the only things that drive out memories of the Apocalypse…and of the boy she left behind when she enlisted. But a young recruit called Mirren and a deadly mission will bring her face to face with all she has tried to forget.

As she leads a squad of Avengers in The Seek, Kyntura will have to face her demons — and the boy whose heart she broke a decade before — to confront the truth about New Earth and save the future of humanity.

the seek

The Seek goes live today from Ros Baxter.  A hot, sweet tale of love, courage and apocalypse. ‘One of the best and most original post-apocalyptic books.’ Check out the book trailer here:

 

Watch

 

Buy the book here 

Choose Your Cast, Rhyll Biest’s ‘Unrestrained’…

unrestrained small

Hi Rhyll, and congratulations on the release of ‘Unrestrained’. I love that cover, in fact, I could look at it all day!

unrestrained small

Blurb: When the reclusive Holly Unthanks finds some very naughty photos, both the star—a muscular Teutonic god with some serious ink and a knack for knots—and the way he’s tied his lady friend to his four-poster bed, make her more than a little curious. But to get to know the big, built stonemason better, she’ll have to overcome his vengeful ex and her own inhibitions—and pray that the walls she’s built around her guarded heart and dark secret remain safe from a man who has a way with stone.

Holly Unthanks

Holly likes to think she’s really tough, but while it’s true she’s covered in scars and knows nine ways to kick a man’s ass, she’s really a softie at heart who thinks she’s unworthy of love. Plus she has more baggage than an airport luggage carousel. She’s my little pit-bull-with-a-heart-of-gold character.

Who would you choose to play this character?

Claire Danes would be cool because she was so bad-ass in Homeland. I adore smart, tough, edgy and slightly snarky heroines.

Claire Danes

 Burkhart Stein

Stein, a German stone mason, is a fearsome looking man who seems straightforward until you delve a little deeper into his past and some of his choices. He has his own scars and other things in common with the heroine, Holly.

Who would you choose to play this character and why?

Okay, confession time. My inspiration for the Stein character was Till Lindemann from Rammstein because he’s got a voice that can give you gravel rash and is built like a tank. A delicious man-tank. So I would definitely pick Till to play Stein.

Luisa

Luisa is the villain of the story and plays her role of über-bitch with style and relish.

Who would you choose to play this character and why?

Salma Hayek has the same sort of dangerous curves as Luisa and a clever, determined look about her. Luisa is an über-bitch but she also has planetary-sized balls, so she doesn’t lack determination. I kind of admire her in a way…

salma hayek

Thanks Rhyll, I love a man-tank. Especially delicious man-tanks!

 

Unrestrained is available here.

If you’d like to connect with man-tank lovin’, Naughty Ninja Rhyll Biest, you’ll find her hanging out:

Facebook

Twitter

Website/Blog

Naughty Ninjas

How we should look in licence photos…

aa golden

My last driver’s licence photo was taken seven years ago when I was heavily pregnant with my third child. I wasn’t a the kind of woman who ‘glowed’ in pregnancy. I was the kind of woman who ‘puffed’ with pregnancy. Consequently, even though my large tummy was nowhere near the frame, everyone could tell that it was a photo of a woman whose tummy bounced off her thighs during uphill climbs.

So, when my renewal notice stated that a new photo was required – because they are now issuing new licences with whizz bang secure identity thingies embedded in them- I was happy because now was my chance to update the photo.

On the bad side,  I was approximately 20kg heavier in the last one than I am now. However, I was also 7 years younger, which created quite a dilemma. My new photo will reveal that I am now back to my normal size post baby, however, I have also developed wrinkles, tired skin and grey hairs at an alarming rate since having children.

This poses the question, which is better: rounded youth or slimmer maturity?

Anyway, I did as instructed by the RTA officer and did not smile when the photo was taken. There is even a sign that prohibits smiling during the photo taking process.

Consequently the photo on my new licence is hideous.

If it was more attractive it would be a mug shot.

On the good side, my grey hairs are well camouflaged amongst the blonde by the flash that had me walking into walls due to temporary blindness for five minutes afterwards.

On the bad side, my pupils are smaller than pinpricks and could lead any police officer viewing it to suspect that I am a long term, habitual crack head.

On the good side, there are no wrinkles on my face because my crow’s feet only come out to play during smile time.

On the negative side, I look like a career criminal who has just been charged with a crime that carries a life sentence of cleaning toilets with a toothbrush. My toothbrush.

My husband and I discussed my new photo and when I asked why no one is allowed to smile he said, ‘because the police want to be able to identify you when they pull you over, and make sure that the holder of that licence and the driver are the same person. How many times have you smiled at a cop who has pulled you over?’

It was a good theory. Certainly one worth investigating, which lead me to consider what types of facial expressions would allow the licencee to be identified quickly, depending on the situation.

The ‘was that a ‘Stop’ sign or just ‘Give Way’? What’s the speed limit around here’ expression.

aa confused

 

The ‘in no way did I break the law’ expression:

aa bill clinton

 

The ‘Yes, I knew it was a 50 km zone and I was doing 55’ expression.

 aa barack

The ‘OMFG was that a speed camera I just flew past?’ expression.

 aa janet

The ‘No, Officer, I wasn’t texting while driving’ expression.

 

 aa emoticon

 

The ‘I’m really, really sorry Officer. I promise not to do it again,’ expression.

 aa golden

 

And finally, the ‘my bosoms are too big for this tiny top, and my lips are so big and red’ seduction expression.

 

 aa sexy

 

So, as you can see, the current licence photo protocol leaves a lot to be desired. It could be improved considerably by allowing people to have a range of facial expressions on their licence so as to accurately reflect that person’s expression at the time of committing an offence. What a pity they don’t have a suggestion box at the RTA.

Penazzling: the art of making your doo-daa pretty…

penazzling man tors

About a year ago I did a blog on Vajazzing- the art of making your hoo-haa pretty. Who would have thought that it would be consistently the most viewed post on my entire blog?

The Vajazzling post has received six times the views of its closest competitor, I Need it Hot and Sweaty Every week, without fail, it is the top performer.

Seeing as writing about genitals gets me far more views than anything else I’ve written, it’s time to explore the genital factor a little more.

So, to continue in the series of making or genitals more attractive, I thought it was about time to do a blog on the boy version – Penazzling.

penazzling man tors

Warning – This post contains censored photos of Penazzling –  a decorated penis.  If you are under the age of 18 or are offended by penises, please don’t continue reading…

Just like a lady getting a Brazillian waxing to kick off the beautification process – something that requires a higher tolerance to pain than child birth (and at least the doctors give you loads of drugs for birthing), the men too must undergo a complete waxing.

But it’s not called a Brazillian for men.  It’s called a BOYZILLIAN.

Here is the G-rated version of what’s involved in a Boyzillian.

penazzling - boyz

Just in case you didn’t quite get it from the above pictures, Boyzillians.com has described the process as a waxing of the Bikini line (although it should state ‘Mankini’), shaft, perineum, scrotum, groin, crack and buttocks.

Are you farking kidding me? My husband just about vomits and passes out when one our boys hits him in the nuts, so what kind of emergency medical aid has to be administered to the men who undertake the Boyzillian?

Are they just handed their broken and swollen testicles back when they leave the salon? Perhaps contained in a human organ esky so they can go to the local hospital and have them reattached?

The advantages of ripping your pubic hairs out by the root include:

  • A neater, cleaner undercarriage,
  • Making your penis look larger by clearing away the undergrowth (yeah, let’s go with that),
  • Is more attractive to women (yeah, if you say so)…

If that isn’t enough for you, your bald as a badger balls and penis can now be decorated.

You could go for the Disco look of 1978…

penazzling richard simmons

Thanks to Richard Simmons for acting as a censor. The sacrifice of throwing yourself in the way of a bejewelled penis for the sake of decorum is duly noted and appreciated.

 

Thanks Bare Beauty for this pic

 penazzling footprints

 

I’d have to wonder what kind of creature is living in this man’s groin if it leaves luminous green footprints in its wake…

The Italian Stallion…

 penazzling david

 

 

 

The one hung low, two hung high look…

 penazzling discoball

 

Of course, if Penazzling isn’t enough for you,  if you’re a little jaded with the skin tone of your dude, or discolouration / pigmentation  has got you down, then perhaps penis and scrotum bleaching  is for you.

Just as some women bleach the skin of their girly bits to keep them pink and fresh, men can also keep their bits…pink and fresh… Not only can you bleach them, but you can also dye them a particular hue.

If applying corrosive chemicals to your genitals doesn’t phase you- because remember, that’s what bleach is- then you may also want to dye your pubes. A nice iridescent pink or green- nature’s own colours- may be just what you’re after.

featureditem_whichbetty

 

We could go on to discuss piercings, but….I really don’t want to.

So, thanks boys for caring enough about the ascetics of your nethers to put yourself though all kinds of penal torture.

Choose Your Cast: Erotic Romance novelist, Cate Ellink…

DeepDiving_Final_small

Hello Cate, and thanks for participating in Sarah Belle’s ‘Choose your Cast’ blog bit! Your new release, ‘Deep Diving’ sounds very sexy!

Hi Sarah, thanks for having me visit!

Book Title: Deep Diving

Can you give us the blurb, please?

Two competitive athletes and a sex-filled holiday fling. No strings, right?

Samantha Caine, newly-retired Olympic triathlete, meets Cooper Sterling, high-profile rugby league player, on tropical paradise, Lord Howe Island when they’re paired as dive buddies.

Soon they become more than undersea partners and things get seriously sexy, but Sam’s disinclined to be another football groupie, and for Cooper it’s about more than good looks.

Is a holiday fling the finish line or can Sam and Cooper turn friendly competition into more than sizzling sex?

DeepDiving_Final_small

 

Character 1 – Name: Cooper Sterling

Tell us about this character: He’s the most incredible hero I’ve ever written. He’s fit, sexy, fun, a great sport, brilliant in bed, awesome to perv at. There’s nothing wrong with him at all.

Who would you choose to play this character? Not an actor, this character was inspired by an NRL footy player, Cooper Cronk.

I usually invent my characters from scratch but with this one, I was sitting at the footy watching him play and this story crept into my mind. Lots of people scour the internet for a photo of their hero/heroine before they start but that’s not for me! I’m never ever doing this again because I can’t separate him from the character now. I watch him play footy and I see him in my story, exactly as amazing as I made him to be! It’s not a good thing. From now on, it’s all my imagination, no dreaming of stories while looking at people!

Looking at this photo, Cate, I can see why he is drool worthy! I’m a bit of a fan of biceps- well chosen!

surfphoto

 

Character 2 – Name: Samantha Caine

Tell us about this character: Sam’s an ex-triathlete, so she competes hard. Cooper gets away with nothing while Sam’s around. He might win, but she pushes him hard. She’s confident, attractive, and a few years older than Cooper.

Who would you choose to play this character and why? In my head I had someone who was a mix of Emma Snowsill (the triathlete) and Sally Fitzgibbons (the surfer). Really fit, great smile, blonde-brown hair, confident.

Snowsill

 

There are a few other characters but Cooper and Sam are the story and the only ones who I gave an image to in my mind. I’d be a useless casting director for a film!!

Looks to me like you’ve chosen very well! Thanks for coming on today, Cate. I will have fun visualising those biceps while reading ‘Deep Diving’!

About Cate:

Cate Ellink became intrigued by the erotic when her grandfather used to pass books to her father saying, “Don’t let the girls read page X.” Although her mother and sisters never bothered to chase those pages, Cate always did. Invariably, her imagination was better than what she read. While pursuing a career in science, Cate amused herself by writing about ordinary events and giving them an erotic twist. It’s taken more than a few years to bravely expose her mind to the public. While the events in her stories may have occurred, it’s highly likely that her imagination is far more exciting than the reality. Cate lives near the beach in NSW with her long-suffering husband.

Buy link:

FB link: Facebook person

Facebook author page

Twitter

Website/Blog link

Naughty Ninjas

 

Blog tour – With a hip hop hippie to the hip hop…

With A Hip Hop Hippie To The Hip Hop

I have been tagged by a wonderful writer and person, Maggie Christensen in an Author Blog Hop.

Follow Maggie on Twitter, or visit her website.

So here are the questions Maggie sent through to me and my answers:

What are you working on now?

I am currently promoting my most recent novel, Miss Spelled, which was released by Escape Publishing on Sept 1st. Other than that I am plotting the next book in the Hindsight series. It’s set in the 1980’s and is shaping up to be loads of fun. Who doesn’t like blue eye shadow, lycra, shoulder pads and tons of hairspray, right?

9780857991836

Give the beginning on your WIP as an excerpt?

1988 

It takes a long time to get into my exercise outfit. My neon pink lycra leggings are fighting my thighs this morning, but it’s a battle that has to be won. Otherwise, it will make the crotch of my electric blue leotard sag down between my knees. Saggy crotch is horrid, not only because it will make me walk like Humphrey B Bear, but the high impact aerobic class I am about to participate in contains countless high leg kicks which are difficult enough with a regular crotch, let alone a low flying one. 

‘Urrrrgghhhhh,’ I growl, tugging the leggings into place.  

‘That’s probably a sign you shouldn’t have eaten that cream bun yesterday,’ says Mandy, my best friend. ‘The Lycra doesn’t lie.’ 

She looks gorgeous, as usual, in her white body stocking with matching wrist bands and contrasting black waist belt. She’s so modern.  

‘It was only a small cream bun, and I drank a diet Coke with it, so that takes away some of the calories and most of the fat,’ I say. I am a firm believer in the ability of diet soft drink to negate any or all of the calorific and fat content in any food. 

Mandy gives me the raised eyebrow, although with her Brooke Sheild’s eyebrows she’s probably giving her facial muscles a work out under all that weight. 

‘Besides, Lycra has a mind of its own; a stubborn, evil mind that results in a greater work out putting the bloody leggings on than actually hitting the gym,’ I say. 

I slide my hot pink headband on and walk to the aerobics class, thinking of Richie. He’s the only reason I throw myself around an aerobics room, risking life and limb in a high impact exercise frenzy. Being the fiancée of a rock star on the verge of a career break through requires me to be slim, perky and hot at all times. I can’t let my punishing workout regime drop just because I am exhausted, malnourished and loathe exercise. 

 

How is your work different from others?

I write ‘Magic Realism Romance’ or ‘Romagic Comedy’. Basically it’s romantic comedy with a dash of something magical. It’s set in the real world but allows extraordinary things to happen to ordinary people. Think of ‘Drop Dead Diva’ or ‘Suddenly 30’ and you’ll get the picture.

Romagic Comedy is quite a niche category and there’s not a huge amount of it out there, so being accepted for publication was a battle, but thankfully Escape Publishing have their own ‘Magic Realism’ sub-genre for writers who, like me, add a little of the unknown into their stories!

And now I’m tagging Elsa Winkler, author of Love, in Writing and Touched to the Heart. You’ll find Elsa’s blog on Monday September 15th, 2014  here:  insert link to next blog – don’t forget to pop in and say hi and see which author she’s tagged.

Then you need to find one person who would like to continue the hop. They will be required to post their blog on the Monday after yours. However you will need them to send you:

Author Bio

I have been reading love stories for as long as I can remember and when I ‘met’ the classic authors like Jane Austen, Elizabeth Gaskell, Henry James, The Brontë sisters, etc. during my Honours studies, I was hooked for life. To try and write a love story was a natural next step and so far nine of my stories have been published in Afrikaans. This will be my first English romance. I married my college boyfriend and soul mate and after 38 years, 3 beautiful children and two grandchildren, he still makes me weak in the knees. We are fortunate to live in the picturesque little seaside village of Betty’s Bay, South Africa with the ocean a block away and a beautiful mountain right behind us. And although life so far has not always been an easy ride, it has always been an exciting and interesting one! I like the heroines in my stories to be beautiful, feisty, independent and headstrong. And the heroes must be strong but possess a generous amount of sensitivity. They are of course, also gorgeous! My stories typically incorporate the family background of the characters to better understand where they come from and who they are when we meet them in the story

Link to Elsa’s blog.

Elsa book Elsa

 

You’re invited to a Magical Triple Book Launch- prizes to be won, virtual champagne to be sipped, calorie free chocolate to be eaten!

Lou bought a spell

3 Escape Publishing authors of Magic Realism (stories set in the real world but with a touch of magic) celebrate their new releases with a fun event full of prizes, chatting, photos, trivia, and sneak peeks. 

We will be giving away some great prizes at the online book launch, including ebooks, Amazon gift cards, movie gift card, writers critiques, and even your name in a book! If you have friends who would like to win prizes and join us for all the fun, please send them an invite to this event  at Magical Triple Book Launch!

Starting at 7.30pm tonight, (Australian Eastern Standard Time) and continuing until 7.30pm on Tuesday Sept 2! There will be loads of giveaways and prizes to be had, so come along and celebrate with myself, Juliet Madison and Jacquie Underdown.

MISS SPELLED

9780857991836

Magic Realism mixes with romantic comedy in this new novel from Sarah Belle about the dangers of internet shopping – and using magic to solve real world problems.  

Lou’s life is perfect. She loves her job, her renovated house, and most of all, her gorgeous fiancé, Aidan. But when her old flame and Aidan’s school yard nemesis turn out to be the same person, Hunter Wincott, Lou’s life is blown apart. She must divulge her secret past, or have Hunter give it away. Either way, she runs the real risk of losing Aidan.  

In desperation, she turns to Google. A quick search turns up Majique, the Internet Witch, and a spell that will delete herself from Hunter’s memory. But something goes wrong in the casting process, and Lou deletes much much more than just a memory. She deletes herself from her life completely.  

Luckily, there’s a one-week window for Lou to get back to the life she loved. One week to win back Aidan, before he walks down the aisle with the wrong woman,  and damns everyone to a lifetime of misery. It would be easy, if only Aidan had any idea who Lou actually is. 

 

HAUNTED EVER AFTER

haunted

Mixing romance, humour and a sparkle of magic, Juliet Madison is back with a new full-length novel about a bride-to-be, a mystery and the stripper next door.

When bride-to-be Sally Marsh attends a weekend away with her bridesmaids, the last thing she expects is an uninvited guest: the ghost of her fiancé’s ex-girlfriend.

Red is quirky, loud and distracting, and Sally is soon desperate to find the reason behind her presence, so she can rid herself of her embarrassing shadow before the wedding day. Unfortunately, the ghost is reluctant to share the reason for her existence, but very enthusiastic about Ty, the surprise hen’s night stripper who keeps showing up at awkward moments.

Time is running out for Sally, but it’s also running out for Red. By the time all is revealed, Sally will be tested to the limits, and go above and beyond everything she’s ever believed in order to ensure not only her own happy-ever-after – but Red’s as well.

 

BEYOND COINCIDENCE

Beyond_Final-1 (2)

Mixing romance, history, and a touch of the unexplained in a new novel from Jacquie Underdown about love that needs to cross oceans and time before finding a place to come true.

In 2008, 250 Australian and British soldiers are uncovered in a mass grave in Fromelles, France, lost since the Great War. One soldier, bearing wounds of war so deep it scarred his soul, cannot be laid to rest just yet.

When Lucy bumps into the achingly sad soldier during a trip to France, she doesn’t, at first glance, realise what he is – a ghost who desperately needs her help. Lucy can’t turn away from someone who needs her, even someone non-corporeal, and they travel back together to Australia in search of answers and, hopefully, some peace.

This chance meeting and unexplainable relationship sets into motion a chain-reaction of delicate coincidences that affect the intertwined lives of family, friends, and lovers in unexpected, beautiful ways.

We look forward to seeing you there!