Old Love…

As a teenager I had a very naive, limited interpretation of romantic love. But despite my innocence, and experience gained only  from TV sitcoms, I still believed in the essence of love. I just didn’t know how to describe it, and often confused it with lust, obsession, or just a simple crush.

In my mid-twenties, I thought I understood love. After all, hadn’t I matured? Wasn’t I part of a long term relationship? But I didn’t understand it at all.  Not real love. Not the kind of love that would last a lifetime and beyond.

im all yours

Now, although I am still learning, I have a better understanding of love:

Love is quiet, sometimes unspoken.

It is an essence, an energy,  that exists between two people who not only acknowledge the imperfections in each other, but accept them.

It is the bond between two people who cherish partnership, whilst respecting  individuality.

It is aspiration and inspiration. It is unwavering friendship.

It is allowing the other to help you stand when you cannot get to your feet.

It is supporting and inspiring the other person to be the very best version of themselves, without expecting them to change.

It does not end. The passing of one does not leave the other any less in love.

cloud heart crop

Above all else, it is unconditional.

Love is what grows out of challenge and adversity.  It’s what keeps you together during the hard times. It’s what makes you smile and laugh louder during the good ones.

It is for the young, the not-so young, and the young at heart.  Sometimes society gets so caught up in the romantic ideal of a young couple in love, that we undervalue the love shared between the elderly- love that has stood the test of time, the fading of youthful appearances, the triumphs and the tragedies, or simply love found later in life. To me, it is the most inspiring love of all.

And so today, I wish you all Old Love.  xxxx

hands old love

The Beauty of Love…

The question is asked, “Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean hands and pure hears in the  path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than  young love?”

And the answer is given. “Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces seamed but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.”

Anonymous.

old love

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Releasing your inner Fabio on Valentine’s day…

Today is Valentine’s day – the day for lovers.(Although every day should be a day for lovers). It’s usually a day some men fear because they think they aren’t any good at romance. Many are afraid they will get it wrong or not be as romantic as the heroes in chick-flicks. But do you know what? Those scripts are written by Hollywood professionals to appeal to the majority of women, in reality romance is just meant to be fun and enjoyable, something to lift you out of the regularity of the day and make the two of you feel special, bonded and to celebrate the feelings you have for one another.

The thing about romance is that it doesn’t need to cost you a lot of money – in fact, it doesn’t need to cost you anything at all.

Romance can be:

  • Holding hands,
  • Lots of cuddles,
  • Writing notes to one another and leaving them in odd places- such as the teabag cannister, under the pillow, under the sunvisor in the car. The notes don’t have to be huge declarations of love – just a simple ”I love you”, or a compliment.
  • Sending a steamy word text – just make sure you get the number correct!
  • Designing a treasure hunt around the house, leaving clues to a gift or handwritten note telling your beloved how you feel – or what you would like to do to them.

Romance can be sweet, sexy or downright steamy – whatever suits you and your lover.

Do you remember being a teenager and snogging someone for hours and hours? The thrill of seeing them again, the sensory pleasure in being around that person – their scent, the feel of their hair, their body pressed closely to yours, the feel of their hand wrapped in yours? Do you remember the sense that all you wanted to do was kiss and cuddle them, because if you didn’t, you thought you would just burst? It’s such a shame that, with maturity, we lose so many of those feelings. Imagine if we could recapture that with the partner we have been with for five, ten, twenty, fifty years?

Well, today you can. Have a snog fest, where you can only kiss for a certain period of time – no sex until after two hours of kissing like teenagers.

I really love that my husband holds hands with me in public as we walk down the street – even after nearly eleven years of marriage, he still loves the feel of my tiny hand in his big paw. We cuddle all the time, especially in front of our kids because it’s important for them to see the affection between their parents, so that it will be a natural instinct for them with their own wives in the years to come.

So men, romance is nothing to fear, you can’t get it wrong because as long as you are making an effort to show her that you are madly in love with her, you’re on a winner.

And finally, if you are in doubt, just buy chocolates or flowers. Book a table at a nice restaurant or bring home her favorite take away so she doesn’t have to cook. Light a candle and put it on the table. Spend the night holding her hand or twiddling with her fingers on the table top and tell her how beautiful she is. Romance is meant to be a bit of fun, so enjoy the night and let your inner Fabio come alive